Becoming

Daylight keeps me clean and calm
Lipstick set, alarms on time
Every move is measured out
I play the part, I stay in line

But the sun goes down, I change my face
Slip my name, erase the trace
Every streetlight knows me better
Than the mirror in my place

I step into another skin
Nothing here is innocent
Every rule I ever kept
Starts to feel irrelevant

I don’t hide
I don’t freeze
I become what nobody sees
Every night
I cross the line
Living out the other side
It’s not safe
It’s not sound
But it’s me when the lights go down

Perfume, pavement, borrowed heat
Strangers brushing past my skin
Every smile an open door
Every touch asks for more

I tell myself it’s just a game
Different streets, a different name
But I feel it in my chest
Every time I hear my name

One more drink, one more lie
One more look I can’t deny
Every shadow feels like proof
That this night is closing in

I don’t hide
I don’t freeze
I become what nobody sees
Every night
I cross the line
Living out the other side
It’s not safe
It’s not sound
But it’s me when the lights go down

I don’t pray
I don’t run
I don’t stop when it’s begun
Every step
Spins me around
Two lives deep in sleepless streets
Breath on breath
Pulse on fire
Losing grip but climbing higher
One more turn
One more sound
Till I don’t know who I am

Morning finds me
Back in place
Same calm voice
Different face

Words & music by Nikita Monday.