A Little Crush

Saw you leaning by the doorway
Coffee cooling in your hand
Said your name once
Let it echo
Like it meant more than it can

You laughed lightly
Eyes went past me
To some stranger on the street
I went home and drew your profile
On the backs of every receipt

It’s just a little crush
Just a little touch of you on everything
On my tongue
On my pillow
In my skin (in my skin)
It’s just a little crush
But I can’t wash you off my hands tonight
Every thought is turning into you again

Found your photo in the hallway
Pinned beside a shopping list
All your letters
All your angles
Every curve I can’t resist

Learn your routes and all your timings
Where you linger
Where you hide
You don’t see me in the window
Tracing fingerprints along your life

It’s just a little crush
Just a little touch of you on everything
On my tongue
On my pillow
In my skin (oh)
It’s just a little crush
But I can’t wash you off my hands tonight
Every thought is turning into you again

Who is that calling your phone at 2 AM?
Why do you smile like that at them?
Why do you walk so fast when you’re alone?
Why do I shake when you go home?

I could be closer than your shadow (so close)
I could be humming in your walls
If you won’t let me through your doorway
I’ll seep in through every smallest fault

It’s not a little crush
You’re the stain that spreads across my daylight
You’re the hunger gnawing through my ribs (through my ribs)
It’s not a little crush
Say my name or I will carve it in your life
Every door you lock
I’m on the other side

See you laughing at the counter
Her hand resting on your waist
Every muscle in me tightening
Sweet affection
Bitter taste

You lean in
Your hair is falling
Over secrets I must know
If I can’t be in your heartbeat
I will stop it when I go!

You were a little crush
Now you’re all the air that I can’t swallow
Every breath is choking on your ghost
You were a little crush
Now I’m in the corners of your bedroom light
In the footsteps echoing inside your bones

You say “someone’s watching from the window”
You are right
You are right
You say “something’s breathing in the silence”
It’s my love
It’s my love
It’s my velvet grip on your life

Words & music by Nikita Monday.